[He's waiting in his bedroom-- and it is his bedroom now, singular possession-- for her. She'll come, he knows. He'd lost her in the shuffle, but she'll seek him out, he knows she will. And for now . . .
For now, he sits heavily on his bed, head bowed and breath shaking, his fingers wrapped so tightly around the neck of a new bottle that his knuckles have gone white.
[It takes a decent amount of time before she comes calling, actually—though it's just because she scours the rest of the ship top to bottom before thinking to go knock on his door. He's usually just around somewhere, lurking, vaguely keeping an eye on things as the rest write him off as a drunk. Will that change? It's too early to say, but she has a feeling their collective days of flying under the radar are over.
Anyway, she makes her way to his room once she's sure he's nowhere else, and then gives the door a kick.]
[There's a long pause, and then some grumbling, but sooner or later the door opens. He leans heavily against the frame, staring down at her. He's drunk, naturally, but there's something extra heavy in his gaze as his eyes linger at her hair, down the curve of her cheek.]
Take the bed.
[He waves a hand towards it as he moves aside.]
Oughta sleep in here tonight. Might not be such a good idea for the recently suspected to be right where they always are.
It was close, but it wasn't that close. Thanks for that, by the way.
[She knows full well it could be her stuck in denim hell right now if it weren't for him. He caught onto Monika's shit too early to say one way or the other, but that's not to say there wasn't a real possibility of Monika's story catching on.]
But if you insist on an admission: No, I wasn't a fan of how things transpired today. I'm shaken, but I'll shake it off.
[It had lasted right up until the Cornucopia. That woke him up real fast; there's nothing like seeing a twelve-year old clutching his intestines in a desperate attempt to keep them inside to punch you in the fucking face.]
It better feel real soon. Like it or not, people are gonna remember you more now. You can use that, but it also puts a target on your back.
[She grimaces. She doesn't want it to feel real, even if he's got a point.]
Same could be said for you, detective. We'll both need to be careful going forward.
[She would argue that he's in more trouble than her, but bringing that up would just start a debate and she's not in the mood. So, fine, they're roughly evenly in trouble.]
[She exhales. Okay, good, he trusts her. She's not sure why he wouldn't, but still, it's a good thing to have reassurance on.]
That... green-haired guy, I think it was. He was talking about feeling compulsions earlier this week and saying how it had to do with the demon possession. If this is going to happen every week, we should keep an eye on the others. It could help us figure it out sooner.
[And maybe prevent anyone from dying, but then there's the issue of curfew... One thing at a time.]
So we're on board with this possession thing now, are we?
[Good. That saves a step.]
Don't worry, I've got my vetting process down pat. I'll be careful out there.
[Not that she's got a queue or anything; she's only slept with Haymitch and Nathan, who she's pretty sure is exempt from this whole thing, and if she's limited to those two for the rest of their time here? There are worse things.]
[He slumps down, sliding down the wall til he's sitting on the floor. Arms braced on his knees, and he tips his head back, bangs sliding out of his eyes. There's silence for a few moments, and then:]
[She's quiet as she watches him resettle on the floor, and she's thankful that he's so... Human. Normal, all things considered. They're not from the same world by a long shot, but it feels like they are sometimes, in moments like this.
At the question, her eyes flick to his forearm automatically before, oops, he probably saw that. She was trying not to make it a big thing, and maybe this isn't even the line of thought he was aiming for, but, well. Clearly he wouldn't open up this door if it wasn't an invitation.]
Given that you're offering? Sure. What happened with the kids?
[He says it slowly. She's a smart girl, but why would she figure this out in advance?]
That means it's been twenty-three years since my Games. That means it's been twenty-three more games-- nd forty-six more kids.
They make you mentor them, you know, when you survive. Guide em. Get em sponsors. Be likable if you wanted just one of those kids to survive. I was seventeen and I didn't know what the fuck I was doing.
They died. And so did next year's kids. And next year's.
[He stares so steadily at her.]
I was a coal miner before that. Down in the deeps. My brother was younger, I kept him out of there as long as I could. And then suddenly I'm too good for that, because I went off and killed a bunch of other kids. So I didn't do much else but wait, and know I was gonna fuck it up, because everybody knows twelve winning was a freak accident. We're too ill-fed and poor to be a threat.
Twenty-three years of that. Forty-six kids dead under my tutelage.
[She holds his gaze as she can while he speaks, but she doesn't last long. Her eyes drop to her hands, where she's picking at her nails, and she listens. She tries to wrap her head around the details, tries to fit all the pieces together to make sense of this insane world he's describing.
He'd already told her about his Games, yes, but somehow, she hadn't quite realized that it was part of an ongoing nightmare. No wonder he hasn't been able to set it aside to move on, even in some small part.]
That sucks.
[Is it an undersell? Oh, definitely. But, more importantly, it's genuine and it's not pity. What he's been through sounds horrible, but she's never been the comforting type. She understands as much as she's able, and it does suck, so. That's that.]
[He gets it, is the thing. He really doses. He gets that there's no gesture that can fit, and at least it's a genuine attempt at addressing an impossibly horrible subject. But ah, at that secondary comfort . . . ]
Yeah, it is. When it was my duty to prepare em . . . it was.
[It's true. It's very, very true, actually, and the fingers of his left hand curl. His hand flexes, til the metal of that stupid bracelet digs into the soft inside of his wrist.]
You sound like--
[No. She sounds the opposite of her right now.]
. . . a woman I know. Way more of an idiot than you, though.
[Her head tips to the side as she misunderstands.]
Is that so? She sounds pretty damn smart to me if she's been telling you the same thing I just did. You did what you had to do to survive, and if you hadn't, someone else would've, and you'd be dead, and I'd probably be dead too, since it would've just been my word against cute, little Monika's.
[It's an exaggeration, she knows, but her point stands. He can't be that bad at his job.]
Listen to your friend if not to me. That's all I'm saying.
[She sounds-- oh, and he laughs softly, not spiteful so much as vaguely amused. Of course she thought that's what it meant. How would she know otherwise?]
I meant the other thing. The odds aren't in your favor, that one.
week one trial; immediately afterwards
For now, he sits heavily on his bed, head bowed and breath shaking, his fingers wrapped so tightly around the neck of a new bottle that his knuckles have gone white.
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Anyway, she makes her way to his room once she's sure he's nowhere else, and then gives the door a kick.]
Let me in.
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Take the bed.
[He waves a hand towards it as he moves aside.]
Oughta sleep in here tonight. Might not be such a good idea for the recently suspected to be right where they always are.
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No one voted for me. It was plenty clear Monika was full of shit.
[But she heads to sit on the edge of the bed anyway.]
I'll stay here if you want me to, but I'm not kicking you out of bed.
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You were still accused. If you wanna lie about it, lie, but don't tell me you weren't at least a little affected.
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[Technically. She kicks at the carpet.]
It was close, but it wasn't that close. Thanks for that, by the way.
[She knows full well it could be her stuck in denim hell right now if it weren't for him. He caught onto Monika's shit too early to say one way or the other, but that's not to say there wasn't a real possibility of Monika's story catching on.]
But if you insist on an admission: No, I wasn't a fan of how things transpired today. I'm shaken, but I'll shake it off.
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[He says it a little too quietly, but he knows enough about her to know that. She's a survivor.]
Terrifying, isn't it? Thinking your life might be on the line?
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I mean, yeah, but... At a distance, I guess.
[There's a pause as she sorts out her words.]
It didn't feel real.
[Her life has never really been in danger before. It's a hard thing to wrap your head around.]
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[It had lasted right up until the Cornucopia. That woke him up real fast; there's nothing like seeing a twelve-year old clutching his intestines in a desperate attempt to keep them inside to punch you in the fucking face.]
It better feel real soon. Like it or not, people are gonna remember you more now. You can use that, but it also puts a target on your back.
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Same could be said for you, detective. We'll both need to be careful going forward.
[She would argue that he's in more trouble than her, but bringing that up would just start a debate and she's not in the mood. So, fine, they're roughly evenly in trouble.]
How well did you know Monika?
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[That's it, really. He didn't much get to know her, just tried to give her some space.]
You?
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I'd never spoken to her before today.
[...]
But you knew she was full of shit, right?
[She might be well and truly off the hook now, but there was a span of a couple hours there where folks were willing to entertain Monika's bullshit.]
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[He shrugs.]
Killers can come from anyone. Even kids. Even the ones who seem sweet.
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That... green-haired guy, I think it was. He was talking about feeling compulsions earlier this week and saying how it had to do with the demon possession. If this is going to happen every week, we should keep an eye on the others. It could help us figure it out sooner.
[And maybe prevent anyone from dying, but then there's the issue of curfew... One thing at a time.]
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[He nods, rubbing his mouth as he does.]
And watch who you sleep with.
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[Good. That saves a step.]
Don't worry, I've got my vetting process down pat. I'll be careful out there.
[Not that she's got a queue or anything; she's only slept with Haymitch and Nathan, who she's pretty sure is exempt from this whole thing, and if she's limited to those two for the rest of their time here? There are worse things.]
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[He slumps down, sliding down the wall til he's sitting on the floor. Arms braced on his knees, and he tips his head back, bangs sliding out of his eyes. There's silence for a few moments, and then:]
You gonna ask?
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At the question, her eyes flick to his forearm automatically before, oops, he probably saw that. She was trying not to make it a big thing, and maybe this isn't even the line of thought he was aiming for, but, well. Clearly he wouldn't open up this door if it wasn't an invitation.]
Given that you're offering? Sure. What happened with the kids?
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[He says it slowly. She's a smart girl, but why would she figure this out in advance?]
That means it's been twenty-three years since my Games. That means it's been twenty-three more games-- nd forty-six more kids.
They make you mentor them, you know, when you survive. Guide em. Get em sponsors. Be likable if you wanted just one of those kids to survive. I was seventeen and I didn't know what the fuck I was doing.
They died. And so did next year's kids. And next year's.
[He stares so steadily at her.]
I was a coal miner before that. Down in the deeps. My brother was younger, I kept him out of there as long as I could. And then suddenly I'm too good for that, because I went off and killed a bunch of other kids. So I didn't do much else but wait, and know I was gonna fuck it up, because everybody knows twelve winning was a freak accident. We're too ill-fed and poor to be a threat.
Twenty-three years of that. Forty-six kids dead under my tutelage.
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He'd already told her about his Games, yes, but somehow, she hadn't quite realized that it was part of an ongoing nightmare. No wonder he hasn't been able to set it aside to move on, even in some small part.]
That sucks.
[Is it an undersell? Oh, definitely. But, more importantly, it's genuine and it's not pity. What he's been through sounds horrible, but she's never been the comforting type. She understands as much as she's able, and it does suck, so. That's that.]
But their blood isn't on your hands.
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Yeah, it is. When it was my duty to prepare em . . . it was.
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Prep can only get you so far. You said only one person walks out at the end of one of those things, right? Those odds are always gonna be against you.
[Ah, now it's her turn to give him a measured stare.]
Blame your government. It's not your fault.
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You sound like--
[No. She sounds the opposite of her right now.]
. . . a woman I know. Way more of an idiot than you, though.
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Is that so? She sounds pretty damn smart to me if she's been telling you the same thing I just did. You did what you had to do to survive, and if you hadn't, someone else would've, and you'd be dead, and I'd probably be dead too, since it would've just been my word against cute, little Monika's.
[It's an exaggeration, she knows, but her point stands. He can't be that bad at his job.]
Listen to your friend if not to me. That's all I'm saying.
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I meant the other thing. The odds aren't in your favor, that one.
[A beat, and then:]
I'm listening, Katy.
[He is. Sort of. Even if he acts like he isn't.]
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